i-am-tammy (filipino woman on her 20's: way of life)

Serendipity.

We accidentally encounter moments which seem to be a total misalignment of our lives. But I realized that our subconscious is a powerful attractor of fate. It may appear blur in our conscious state, but its manifestations to our actions bring our desires to materiality if we just let it be. And this direct us to serendipity, accidentally bumping into something we totally desire but we are unaware of its current importunity to us.

Reviewing how my life is moving and where it is heading, I realized that most of my decisions are just product of the positive input of others. I depend on what the society thinks is best for me. I am fed by external insights and i digest them like they are mine. Primarily, I am undecided on what I really want. This directed me to achieve less than what I deserve. This made me a classic underachiever, just the girl who never gets what she really wants, the girl who gets the second best. And yes, it does suck!

In the depth of my solitude, I interrogated my self why I can’t have a grip of what I really want. Then I found out that those desires were in the first place not mine.

But just months ago, I undertook a much smooth way of life. I let my gut instinct play its game. I took risks as long as I see no peril in the coast, and I let chances dance with me. I heed no advice this time, I played the game on my own. It may sound too carefree, but this was the only time I get to see my real direction. The direction which is not set by anyone. And with this, I get to tiptoe on where I want to walk.

Attracting your destiny is believing that you have an unconscious preset stairway. And by letting yourself climb up those steps without fickle-mindedness, you get to reach the room designed for you. But when we adapt other people’s desire, we end up climbing the stairs unpatterned for us and will be overwhelmed with tiresomeness along the way ending up unfinished or second best.

BELIEVE in yourself, attract your destiny and maximize your advantages in finishing the journey.

August 23 DAVAO AS IT IS! Explore Davao City...<3

6:00am arrival

6:00-8:00 Check in @ Ponce Suite (Kublai Khan's art gallery)

* Kublai Khan is a known artist in Davao who designed the People's Park located in Bolton, this gallery showcases his quirky masterpieces, also catch him doing his craft in the third floor section of the hotel..

8:00-9:30 Davao Museum

* Know more about Dabawenyos on this museum. Armors, utensils, clothings of the different Davao tribe which are properly preserved on this 2 floor building. REMINDER: No cameras are allowed inside!

9:30- 10:00 People's Park

* The newest park in Davao as a project of our former Mayor Rodrigo Duterte. Enjoy the cute sculpture made by Kublai.

10:00-10:30 City Hall of Davao and San Pedro Church

* Known landmarks of Davao

10:30- 11:30

* Shop in the busy streets of Rizal Park which is transformed to a tiangee section during Kadayawan!

11:30-2:00 ABREEZA Mall

* The Newest Ayala Mall in town! Have lunch on this huge plaza.

2:00-6:00 Gaisano Mall Movie house

* It is only here in Davao you will feel the comfort of a home while watching your favorite movie on screen!!! Sulk on the huge lazy boy couch inside the cinema!!!

7:00-9:00 Be enticed on Davao's City lights during night @ Jack's Ridge! Eat grilled seafoods and enjoy heartwarming serenade of classic songs.

August 24 PREPARE YOUR ENDORPHINS!

5:00-6:30 travel from Davao City to EDEN Nature Park

6:30- 8:30 EDEN NATURE PARK!

• A high peak in Davao where you will feel Nature's embrace and be overwhelmed on sunrise as it kisses the sleeping city... Also enjoy fishing in their pond and ask them to cook it for you, hop unto one of their horses and enjoy horsebackriding! Be fascinated on their cool breeds of species on their zoo

8:30-9:30 travel from EDEN to Zorb ball (Pass by GAP farm and have a shot on the famous Land of PROMISE landmark)

9:30-11:00 ZORB Ball @ Speed City

* ROLL... like literally roll as you are strapped inside a giant zorb ball!

11:00-12:30 Lunch @ River Walk Grill!

* Crocodiles are enjoyed here! Hahahhaa... eat an exotic food...

1:00-3:00 ZZZzzzzzzzzzzIP! @ Outland Adventure

* the longest and fastest zipline in Davao!! A time to marvel Davao's afternoon beauty while you are flying on air.

3:00-5:00 CROCODILE PARK and Butterfly sanctuary

* Have a close encounter with the dangerous and subtle animals...

6:00-7:00 Famous DURIAN @ Magsaysay Park

* Regain all the lost calories by enjoying durian! Davao is known for this foul smelling fruit yet heaven tasting! Don't forget to have soda as its partner beverage! =)

7:00-2:00 DINE and PARTY till you drop... @ Torres

* It is KADAYAWAN!! Don't know if you still got remaining energy... but why not try how partying happens in Davao??? =) dare?

August 25- DAY TOUR @ Pearl Farm Resort, Island Garden City of Samal!!! =)

This month seems so overwhelming... days were a huge burden on my shoulder... I have been romanticizing with ugly lives and annoying stories... It is so true that other people's stories could be a source of inspiration that can surely guide our own lives. They are masterpieces on the making.

A heartbreaking story: Women should know how to value love

A young girl who went abroad to pursue her dream left her "inseparable" 6 year-boyfriend in the Philippines. Communication between them faded and it slowly untangled their grip to each other. She found someone rich and stable in her new home and realized that she could get a better future from that guy. She decided to leave her boyfriend who was unsure of himself and unstable as of that point. The guy made an effort to win the girl back by renewing his self... then I came...

I became the girlfriend of that poor boy who accepted him despite his status. When the girl found this out, she was alarmed by the fact and made the effort to get him back. She flew here just to win the boy, and proved her longing and love. Because I knew that the guy still has feelings for her, and it is impossible to win the competition then I agreed on letting him go in spite of my feelings for him. It was a huge heart ache but seeing the boy back where he belongs is something much fulfilling...

Maybe God used me to let them realize the worth of each other... or maybe God used me to show the boy that love should not be measured.. Maybe God used me to make him realize that there is a big world and that it does not just revolve around girlfriends or boyfriends... or maybe God used me to let him realize that love is not just shown by fighting for it but also by sacrificing it just to make him happy.

The moral of the story: Your trash could be a treasure to others... So before letting go, make sure that it is not that valuable to you anymore...

An inspiring story: Never judge people...

There was this girl who became my room mate in the dormitory.. She looks dangerous and creepy to us to the extent that we thought she has functional schizophrenia.. We even leave the door's room open which we do not do before. We thought we might be attacked by her while we are sleeping, that was for us to have an easy escape once such happens. She was singing lousily and loudly on her own and we thought she has flight of ideas because of how she conversed to us. We were really backbiting her, I was an active participant of such action. We laugh on how she dressed up because we saw her using the blanket as wrap-around. We know she has nothing but 3 pieces of clothing and a pair of undergarment.

Time came when we already felt the urge to help her, so in our little ways we offer food during meals and let her borrow some clothing, but at times she refuses offer. A week after we saw her bringing her baggage she fetch from her previous house. There we realized that she was telling the truth and that she was really not a psycho. The great part was, she was hired as a PRIVATE DUTY NURSE and who is now claiming a big pay from that job...

SHAME ON US who misjudged her...

moral of the story: not because people are poor, they are already psycho... never judge people base on what they have and what they do not have!

An unfinished story: A coin can flip!

When I climbed up the stairway of our dormitory, someone familiar confronted me... It was an old friend who I met last January and was here to search for a loved one. I remember her very wealthy and was well-groomed months ago and now I cannot even recognize her. But I know she went through a huge turmoil in her stay here...

She told her story and I found out that her life became topsy-turvy since January, and now she is back with nothing, even small amount of money for jeepney rides. It was an astounding fact that she is here to join Willie Revillame's "Wil Time Big Time" and hopes that she can become a contestant of that game and can finally fly back to Singapore. For now, she has nothing, and she has high hopes on me that I can help her while she is still here in Manila.

In my part, it is a huge favor because I am also relying on my parents for now... I am pressured of her presence but my principle settles my mood down. I have a strong belief on myself that I can tolerate this annoying situation. Annoying because I supply everything to her from food to clothing to laundry to money for fare... I have a big heart to help people in need, but I do not know up to when can I tolerate it. Most especially when she acts too demanding to get what she wants from me and much more when she invades my privacy. I realized that my weakness is that I cannot say "NO" and I know that is the reason why I am abused often.

I do not want to let her feel that when a coin flips, I treat people differently... I am a just person, and no matter what one's status is, I treat people fairly... But I do hope she realizes that when she is in need, she will know how to humble down too...

moral of the story: too much goodness can put you to a very dangerous situation... know when to say "NO". Of course, do not let love fall you to your knees to the point where you cannot even get up from that downfall.


I know that these stories can be my guide. We do not have to undergo them, by merely encountering them we can learn and will apply that for such not to happen in our own lives. :)

Maybe life is a game...Some play it tough while others let some people win. But who is the real winner?

Viewing life as a ball of fun has been a gushing thought in my head. People see me as this sunshine who sees nothing but inspiring points and beauty. I am an avid fan of living, and it is my hobby to live life to the fullest.

But this week seems different, i lost my appetite for life. I see myself wobbling from the emotional stability i have planted in me. I dug my weaknesses again and been pouring water for it to grow. The worst pattern i could do to myself. I am overshadowed with insecurities and it's eating me. :(

Hi readers... yeah, i know it has been a while..=)

Just this night i had some great time playing my most favorite indoor game... "word factory". It has been a while since I hid that thing in my closet. I bought that to taper boredom here in our dormitory. It was not that interesting to play months ago since I got no one to compete... most of my dorm mates hated the game, but this day was different... I get to pull it out from its untouched box and finally spent some awesome rounds of games with it... =) yup, got great and really witty playmates this time... =) And they did make me sweat...

We had a serious twist to really complicate the game.. All words should start with five letters and up, and we prepared the set and placed characters which have difficult letters that can be formed into words... We end up formulating 3 and above words only after the hourglass timer sprint its last ash. DOOM! anyways, we still get really nice words... hahahahhaa... but often, we have not jotted down a single word to our sheets.

I hope i can still play with them tomorrow. Surely, I find this very unwinding to do this weekend. =)